Science Horror-scopes: March

By Peter Dearden 16/03/2011


After a quiet spell over summer, the Southern Genes blog is back! We have a few ideas for new regular posts up our sleeves, so stay tuned. Also, if there’s any genetics related stuff that YOU’D like us to write about, please let us know at go.blog@otago.ac.nz. We’re going to kick the year off with those always cheerful horror-scopes from Doc. Chaos.

Happy 2011!
Genetics Otago

Science Horror-scopes – March

By Doc. Chaos

Run! Run for your lives! The undergrads are back.

*Ahem*

VirgoThis month you will spend in a perpetual funk — all those experiments you planned, all that work that was going to get done before semester resumed, none of it happened. You are out of time and the students are back. Each week you will think of another thing you had to get done before they did.
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TaurusRomance for you this month! The department is full of new blood! Put on your good shirt and hop along to happy hour, you won’t be disappointed.
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ScorpioBy the time you get to the tea room this month all the decent milk will be gone, the bottles left on the bench and the Milo emptied. No one has told the newbies to stay out of the kitchen yet. You should do that.
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SagittariusThree bits of your most expensive lab machine will get mysteriously broken this month. Who to blame, who to blame? Wait — did anyone even train the new honours student?!
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PiscesYour tyres will deflate at least once, the mechanic keeps finding fragments of broken beer bottle. Time to move your parking space?
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LibraYou are in luck! You know that old couch you have wanted to get rid of?! Free pass, this month only.
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LeoYou should probably stay up all night, every night, worrying about that grant proposal you submitted. Constantly stressing about it after the fact makes it better, right?
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GeminiYou are a winner! At least, your mother told me you were. Not quite living up to her expectations? No matter, you’ll finish that thesis this year for sure.
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CapricornThat paper you are planning on submitting this month after a final run over by your supervisor? Don’t get your hopes up. I see red marks in your future. Lots of red marks.
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CancerSummer is over. You should put your electric blanket back on your bed this month. It’s going to be a cold one.
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AriesAvoid all professors. They want you to do some planning/marking/teaching/minioning. Just turn and run off every time you see one.
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AquariusYou know that summer student you couldn’t wait to leave? Someone worse is waiting to take their place. Serves you right.
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