I like being a scientist – studying nature, trying to work out how things work, and hopefully having my work make the world a better place, in one way or another. However, it can be hard work. Lab experiments have to be painstakingly thought out, sources of error and bias minimised, and any assumptions noted. When writing papers you have to communicate clearly and precisely, use scientific language and statistics accurately and avoid exaggeration. Citations of other people’s work have to be accurate which means having to thoroughly read the research journals.
Sometimes, I’d much rather be a pseudoscientist. It must be so much easier to slap together experiments that only seek to prove what I want them to. I could ignore bias, good statistical analysis and intellectual integrity. I could play fast and loose with scientific terminology and throw in words like “quantum”, “resonance” and “multiplasmic fendangles” when I want to sound “sciency”. I wouldn’t have to read papers carefully, I could just cherry pick out only phrases that could be twisted to suit my argument. And when I get challenged all I would have to do is say “There’s more to life than science!” Life would be so easy.
I even have an idea that would benefit me financially. After all if people are gullible enough to put strips of plastic around their wrists and think it will improve their balance, then they’ll buy anything, even my Homeopathic Activity Verifier (HAV).
Homeopathic Activity Verifier only $49.95 plus Postage and handling $9.95
The Homeopathic Activity Verifier (TM) uses patented Quantum Unified Attentuating Cathode (QUAC) technology to test the effectiveness of homeopathic solutions. Utilising Carbon Resonating Alpha Particles (CRAP) circuitry this device is cutting edge technology. Just place the solution in front of the device, press the button and the lights will activate when it detects the altered resonance harmonics of the energised water particles. If only several of the lights activate the solution may have degraded due to exposure to light or a skeptical presence.
The usefulness of the HAV device has been independently verified (paid advertisement) in both the International Journal of Dodgy Gadgets (2011) pg 102 and the Australian Womens Weekly. The patented QUAC technology is supported by the recent work of Nobel Laureates, Frank Lee Bonkers and Ima Nutter.
Phone now and you will receive a free gift of either a set of dowsing rods or a glass hammer.