Tired of Predictions?

By Michael Edmonds 29/09/2011

It seems that every week or so there is someone claiming to predict some sort of natural disaster. As a resident of Christchurch, it gets particularly tiresome, given the previous earthquakes seem to attract every mediocre medium or attention seeking astrologer to have a go and guessing when another quake might occur.

It is pointless to try and prevent these people from making such predictions, as the media seems convinced that it needs to pass on these portents of doom. I would like to suggest another tried and true way of limiting annoying behaviours – through regulation.

I think we need to form and regulate a society for these Diviners, Astrologers (yes, that means you Ken), Fortune Tellers, Profits (oops I mean Prophets), Oracles and others Sensitive to Ethereal Revelations. Membership would be compulsory for anyone with a tendency to spout forth predictions.

This society of D.A.F.T.P.O.S.E.R’s could then work together to provide us with a day by day list of predictions which could then be published for the public to see how many ACTUALLY come true. Those with a poor hit rate could then be censured in some way or banned from making public pronouncements until they prove themselves worthy.

The society would of course be self funding by using the members combined predictive abilities to win Lotto when funding is required.

Imagine the prospective headlines “Leading the news tonight – DAFT POSERS reveal upcoming catastrophes – one for each day of the year”.


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